FAIRYTALES DO COME TRUE...
...It's all in how you define them.
As a little girl, I used to think the fairytale was just being a wife and a "mommy". When you're a child, the world looks so different, and you actually think those dreams will come true, exactly the way you saw them. I want to help you to define or re-define your fairytale.
See, I'm completely over the whole Hollywood film version of the knight in shiny armor riding in on his white horse to sweep me off my feet fairytale. And for men, the one that includes the girl with the drop dead body parts, the great career, the excellent credit and has no kids and "no drama" in her life. It's great if that's what you want, and sometimes it actually happens that way--but remember, things aren't always as they appear to be.
I've learned as an adult, that no matter how great the story is on how you met, no matter how wonderful the whirlwind romance, no matter how fabulous the wedding--after all of that, there's life. After you've thrown the rice, are you now throwing bricks? How many people do you know concentrated more on being "in love" or the magical wedding (I call it the show to impress people you don't like and some you don't even know), then they get home and have to face life's challenges and can't cope?
We all know someone like that, and the sad thing is, we probably know more people who are unhappy in relationships, than who are succeeding in them. That just really hurts me--especially in the African-American community. As a single mother of 2 sons, I am extremely concerned about the images of black males in our communities and in media now, and it pains me that there is not more light for them to look to. I blame the bulk of this on the breakdown of the Black family.
Everyone has there own platform, and mine are being an advocate for the Black man, and advancing relationships for strong families--particularly the Black family. We can look to all of the reasons for the breakdown of both, going back as far as slavery. But the bottom line is, that when you learn better, you do better. I am so tired of the excuses for not doing better.
Ok, I'm bringing it to the big point now. This year was a huge turning point for me. I know that fairytales can come true, but I define the fairytale as a sustainable relationship, in which two people make a God-decision (not a good decision, because there is a difference) to stick together and be light in darkness for each other and for all of those who are watching them, even through life's challenges. The fairytale really isn't how you meet, but how you stay together. It really isn't how great you are when things are going well, but how you handle the tough times, knowing that you both are working together. It's about realizing that two people working for a common goal is always better than one. It's about recognizing that you were joined for something so much bigger than you individually or even collectively--that you were sent to set the standard for what functional and Godly relationships are supposed to look like. It's about teaching, mentoring and loving your children in a way not to keep them, but releasing them to be self-sufficient adults who love humanity, life and don't just work a job, but get paid to live. This is how I define the fairytale. I don't know what your fairytale is, but if it's destined to happily ever after, only you can make that choice.
After you've done ALL you can...
You just STAND.
As a little girl, I used to think the fairytale was just being a wife and a "mommy". When you're a child, the world looks so different, and you actually think those dreams will come true, exactly the way you saw them. I want to help you to define or re-define your fairytale.
See, I'm completely over the whole Hollywood film version of the knight in shiny armor riding in on his white horse to sweep me off my feet fairytale. And for men, the one that includes the girl with the drop dead body parts, the great career, the excellent credit and has no kids and "no drama" in her life. It's great if that's what you want, and sometimes it actually happens that way--but remember, things aren't always as they appear to be.
I've learned as an adult, that no matter how great the story is on how you met, no matter how wonderful the whirlwind romance, no matter how fabulous the wedding--after all of that, there's life. After you've thrown the rice, are you now throwing bricks? How many people do you know concentrated more on being "in love" or the magical wedding (I call it the show to impress people you don't like and some you don't even know), then they get home and have to face life's challenges and can't cope?
We all know someone like that, and the sad thing is, we probably know more people who are unhappy in relationships, than who are succeeding in them. That just really hurts me--especially in the African-American community. As a single mother of 2 sons, I am extremely concerned about the images of black males in our communities and in media now, and it pains me that there is not more light for them to look to. I blame the bulk of this on the breakdown of the Black family.
Everyone has there own platform, and mine are being an advocate for the Black man, and advancing relationships for strong families--particularly the Black family. We can look to all of the reasons for the breakdown of both, going back as far as slavery. But the bottom line is, that when you learn better, you do better. I am so tired of the excuses for not doing better.
Ok, I'm bringing it to the big point now. This year was a huge turning point for me. I know that fairytales can come true, but I define the fairytale as a sustainable relationship, in which two people make a God-decision (not a good decision, because there is a difference) to stick together and be light in darkness for each other and for all of those who are watching them, even through life's challenges. The fairytale really isn't how you meet, but how you stay together. It really isn't how great you are when things are going well, but how you handle the tough times, knowing that you both are working together. It's about realizing that two people working for a common goal is always better than one. It's about recognizing that you were joined for something so much bigger than you individually or even collectively--that you were sent to set the standard for what functional and Godly relationships are supposed to look like. It's about teaching, mentoring and loving your children in a way not to keep them, but releasing them to be self-sufficient adults who love humanity, life and don't just work a job, but get paid to live. This is how I define the fairytale. I don't know what your fairytale is, but if it's destined to happily ever after, only you can make that choice.
After you've done ALL you can...
You just STAND.
posted by Blu Sol at 7/25/2007 09:59:00 AM
2 Comments:
very well said candy cane!
Sowing positive images about men especially those in the black community is what motivated me to do Celebrating the Men that Lead: www.youtube.com/watch?v=i99XxTABCjY
I continue to seek opportunities to sow the right image and encourage parents and spouses to speak life to their men.
I believe that dreaming is good. However, people of faith have to allow God to speak to those dreams so that we don't have "hope deferred" syndrome or lose sight of our purpose in Him.
Continue to share God's faith, hope, and love.
IE
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