What Makes Me Wanna Holla

Michelle Obama at the Democratic National Convention

2008-08-26T09:18:00.004-05:00

Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies...

I sat in tears watching Michelle Obama on last evening. I haven't had a lot of things to look forward to, or to bring me joy lately. But my tears on last evening, were of joy. I wept uncontrollably long after the speech and the interaction between Michelle, her daughters, and her wonderful husband ended. You didn't have to be black, a woman, married, or even a mother; to be touched by the compassionate words that were released from that beautiful, statuesque, courageous young lady's lips, you only had to be human. But as an African-American lady, a mother, and a strong advocate of family and of edifying the black man, I sat in awe of her presence, mesmerized by her words, and moved in my spirit by that family's "audacity of hope".

In case you were under a rock somewhere and missed it, I have conveniently included a link to the speech. Please watch. Please watch with your children. Please watch with your whole family.

Click here to view the video.

What a REMARKABLE moment in history...
What a PHENOMENAL way to exhibit black love and FAMILY...
What a PERFECT time for change!

Be sincere; Be brief; Be seated.
~ Franklin D. Roosevelt

I am a FATHER needs your support

2007-07-30T10:59:00.000-05:00

No need for me to jump on my normal soapbox. It's simple. The book is great, so please support it.

Phew.....It's been one of those weeks

2007-07-28T18:34:00.001-05:00

I've started hating weekends. My life is now ruled by work and motherhood, and although weekends bring some rest, housework and kid activities, it's so great to hear the phone ringing with business and adult conversation, as well as the emails coming during the week. Most of my friends are married and have children. I live far away from them as well. And I don't call them at night or on weekends, because I feel that is family time, and anything outside of that is an interruption. So I feel a strong disconnect most times, but just kind of struggle through it.

I was speaking with a friend about my current (but I'm determined brief) situation, and he said that I could call him anytime. But I told him that me knowing that he was being the husband and father that he should be, and knowing that even if it took the last amount of strength that he had, he was going to stay committed to his wife and family---that was the only help that I needed. I need that hope. I need to know that there are relationships that are doing more than existing--they are succeeding.

Yet the challenge now for me is to really get a life. I need to have more hobbies--other than trying to help people. I had convinced myself that I was happy just helping others, but at some point, one can become empty. You need to be refilled, and that can't usually come from a person or relationship. It has to come from other sources of your life that you can pull from. I spent most of my year planning in one direction, and now I have to dust off plan B, and basically begin again. This is usually the routine for the end of the year, but a lot has changed in the world, in just a week. As if I didn't get it before, I definitely know what the line in Kirk Franklin's song "First Love" means...

"Ain't it funny, how a chapter can make a story change..."

Definitely truth to that one. But I truly believe that all is well. There is a Divine plan in action, even as I type these venting words. In spite of everything that life has thrown at me, it has made me stronger and more determined to live the good life and one day have the fairytale.

So sing it along with me...

After you've done ALL you can,
You just STAND.

FAIRYTALES DO COME TRUE...

2007-07-25T09:59:00.001-05:00

...It's all in how you define them.

As a little girl, I used to think the fairytale was just being a wife and a "mommy". When you're a child, the world looks so different, and you actually think those dreams will come true, exactly the way you saw them. I want to help you to define or re-define your fairytale.

See, I'm completely over the whole Hollywood film version of the knight in shiny armor riding in on his white horse to sweep me off my feet fairytale. And for men, the one that includes the girl with the drop dead body parts, the great career, the excellent credit and has no kids and "no drama" in her life. It's great if that's what you want, and sometimes it actually happens that way--but remember, things aren't always as they appear to be.

I've learned as an adult, that no matter how great the story is on how you met, no matter how wonderful the whirlwind romance, no matter how fabulous the wedding--after all of that, there's life. After you've thrown the rice, are you now throwing bricks? How many people do you know concentrated more on being "in love" or the magical wedding (I call it the show to impress people you don't like and some you don't even know), then they get home and have to face life's challenges and can't cope?

We all know someone like that, and the sad thing is, we probably know more people who are unhappy in relationships, than who are succeeding in them. That just really hurts me--especially in the African-American community. As a single mother of 2 sons, I am extremely concerned about the images of black males in our communities and in media now, and it pains me that there is not more light for them to look to. I blame the bulk of this on the breakdown of the Black family.

Everyone has there own platform, and mine are being an advocate for the Black man, and advancing relationships for strong families--particularly the Black family. We can look to all of the reasons for the breakdown of both, going back as far as slavery. But the bottom line is, that when you learn better, you do better. I am so tired of the excuses for not doing better.

Ok, I'm bringing it to the big point now. This year was a huge turning point for me. I know that fairytales can come true, but I define the fairytale as a sustainable relationship, in which two people make a God-decision (not a good decision, because there is a difference) to stick together and be light in darkness for each other and for all of those who are watching them, even through life's challenges. The fairytale really isn't how you meet, but how you stay together. It really isn't how great you are when things are going well, but how you handle the tough times, knowing that you both are working together. It's about realizing that two people working for a common goal is always better than one. It's about recognizing that you were joined for something so much bigger than you individually or even collectively--that you were sent to set the standard for what functional and Godly relationships are supposed to look like. It's about teaching, mentoring and loving your children in a way not to keep them, but releasing them to be self-sufficient adults who love humanity, life and don't just work a job, but get paid to live. This is how I define the fairytale. I don't know what your fairytale is, but if it's destined to happily ever after, only you can make that choice.

After you've done ALL you can...
You just STAND.

Charity begins at home

2007-02-17T19:32:00.000-06:00

I read a quote by Maya Angelou today that made me say AMEN sister. It is something that I constantly speak about to people who are close to me, and it's one of the traits that I am glad to say that I have worked hard to maintain. If you read my blog on the Essence of Time, you will completely understand what I mean.

Her quote simply read: "If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people that you love. Don't be surly at home, then start grinning 'Good morning' at total strangers."

This is soooo important, because too often we take our fatigue, our frustrations and all of our negative energy and emotions out on those around us--those who are actually in our corner, and who already endure those emotions on our behalf. My mother often told me as a child, "no one suffers alone". Keeping that in mind, whether true suffering or going through uncomfortable or difficult situations, it is important to recall that as adults and spiritual beings, we first should understand that our loved ones are going to endure these emotions with us anyway, so we should remember to use care when dealing with those closest to us.

A perfect example. I have a friend, and every time he is tired or "the wind blows in the wrong direction", even if I greet him with a smile or answer his phone call in a pleasant tone, I receive a response that is not reciprocating my greeting. My initial thoughts usually include: "I didn't make you play basketball all morning until you're tired and irritable (hey, you're not 18 anymore!), so why are you taking it out on me? I didn't make you work until late into the night, so why are you blaming me for being sleepy? Whomever rubbed you the wrong way, sorry, but I'm not that individual!"

We need to stop basing situations around us on how we treat people, and realize that moments are very important. So, if you don't feel like talking, don't call. If you don't feel like being bothered, don't come around. Remember why you chose this person to be in your life, or if it's a family member, understand how they need, expect and should be treated.

See, love and care does not begin with strangers, co-workers or the guy/girl you're trying to impress. It begins at home, with the people who love you, and are for you--today and everyday.

Peace.

Take Your Heart off Display

2006-03-24T18:31:00.000-06:00

I was speaking with a sista this evening, and she really stirred something up in me. She was expressing how she had been on and off with a guy for years, and she had done everything in her power to make him happy and fill the "voids" that she felt he had in his life. She even said that when he expressed to her that she wasn't what he was looking for in a wife, and told her what he did want, that she even attempted to become that. But of course, to no avail. She said they still hang out and that they are friends "with benefits" (how is it really benefiting her?). But she yearns in her heart for more--a real relationship to take the place of the substitute that they have become for each other; and constantly expresses that to him--whether it be verbally or through how much she physically does to express her "undying love."

I was told once, that I was a good listener, but not a great listener; because as most women do, I tend to interrupt to interject a thought that I feel will add value to the conversation. But I listened attentively to her, and only asked questions when I knew that she had completed her thoughts. Her heart felt words took me back to a familiar place, and it troubled my spirit that after all of this time had passed from their "official break-up," that she was still holding on so tightly to the dream of them being together.

Sometimes we're just called to listen. Other times, when we've actually been through situations, we need to speak up, and provide some wisdom. I used to say that women like that were stupid, naive and were just suffering from low self-esteem--until I became one of those women. It's really easy to speak on that which you've never dealt with, and some people don't see it until it happens to them. I know how hard it is to receive advise when you're in a dry place, and you don't know how to be delivered. I know what it feels like to not want to wake up, to be so depressed that you lose weight, your hair sheds and you ultimately lose who you are in the midst of your circumstances. I know how it feels to love so hard and pray so hard to have that love reciprocated, but it doesn't happen.

With all of these things in mind, my heart ached for her. I cried with her. I knew where she is, and it pained me to see another sista suffering like that. I wanted to pray with her, but she wasn't at that place. I wanted to tell her that she would find someone else who was perfect for her--but for one thing, that's selling her another dream, and furthermore, he is perfection to her right now, and no one else even compares. I wanted to tell her that time heals all wounds--but here she was after years of this same pain, and nothing had changed.

So all that was left was to give her tough love. And I remembered a line in Heather Headley's song "Why Should I Cry," and I told her in one sentence: Take your heart off display.

Ok, if you wanna continue to be around this guy, then that's your decision. But realize, that the difference between getting him totally out of your life, and staying around wishing... and hoping... and praying, is that yes, once you get away for real, you will still hurt. But after a while, it will stop. However, if you continue to stay, then you continue to hurt. It's your decision. And while you're still hangin out and collecting "benefits," and deciding what you're really going to do, take your heart off display.

For those who have been there-- and done that, I know you feel me. Peace.

The Independent Black Film Festival

2006-03-18T19:28:00.000-06:00

Ok, I know I'm supposed to holla about some unjust situtation or hidden racism; but this time, I have to holla in a positive way.

I was given this opportunity to moderate 3 different panel discussions this week at the Independent Black Film Festival, held in Atlanta, GA. To be totally honest, I thought it was a nice opportunity, and I really admire and am very fond of the CEO of the festival, Asante Addae; however, I am so accustomed to being in the background with my clients, as opposed to the forefront, that I didn't see a lot of value in it for myself professionally. But, as it turns out, it really re-ignited a flame within me, that I felt had gone away.

I went to college aspiring to be an anchor woman. But as I tell most of my associates and friends, when you're young, you're really sold a dream. Being a divorced mother of two by the time I graduated, even after doing internships, I just wasn't in the position to commit to a starting reporter's assignments or salary. I really should have been taking more classes in the field that I am working in now.

Well, to keep from babbling, as moderator for these panel discussions, it was much like interviewing as a reporter and/or journalist. It was so refreshing to me, and I really felt comfortable and at home with facilitating the flow of the discussions. I mean, I was sharing the dais with very prominent African-Americans in the broadcasting, media, film and entertainment industries, and just a side note, I am sooo over being star struck, that it is hilarious. Whereas, I noticed some of my audience members in the various sessions in total awe of some of the panelists--such as Leon, from Waiting to Exhale, The 5 Heartbeats and The Temptations, but I was sooo beyond seeing them as these sex symbols or anything other than successful individuals in their craft. I was really professionally engaged in the topics, the questions and their responses.

So, in essence, although I really love what I am doing now, and prayerfully will continue to grow professionally and my business will flourish and my territory will enlarge, I really am excited about taking it the next level by pursuing my original goal, and possibly doing some work as a freelance reporter/journalist.

I would advise my readers to check out the Independent Black Film Festival by clicking on the title. Shout out to Asante, for putting together a great event once again, and to Dore, for keeping me in the loop and taking care of me before and after my sessions. My people, let's continue to support each other in our great works.

Peace.

The Passing of Sister King

2006-02-01T07:20:00.000-06:00

I set my alarm to the Tom Joyner morning show daily, and was shocked yesterday to awake to the news. I thought I was hearing incorrectly; only to have my sadness confirmed by updated reports on the passing of a pillar of strength and grace--Mrs. Coretta Scott King.

However, I cannot even express my frustration and disappointment at the lack of respect of her passing from news outlets around the country. I understand from working in the industry, that there are stories already in place, as well as breaking news that takes priority. I cannot understand how the passing of the wife of the greatest humanitarian of our time could be a side note in what is considered "world news." And what took priority, was a reporter who did not even die! There are soldiers dying in this senseless war daily, and although I am sympathetic to the reporter's condition, I cannot imagine how intelligent individuals could think this was acceptable. Maybe I'm just crazy! (But I think not.)

I must, however, commend the local media outlets in Atlanta, GA. They made a concerted effort to shift their focus to paying tribute to Mrs. King. It is my prayer that as individuals, we commemorate the life and struggles of both she and her husband this Black History Month. Be the light in darkness, and show compassion for those in need.

Riches come and go.

Only love is pure Gold...

--The Elements, EWF

What He did promise....

2005-12-08T12:23:00.000-06:00

I don't know who wrote this, but I thought it was beautiful, and perfect for the season--whatever season you're in.....

God has not promised,

Skies always blue,

Flower-strewn pathways

all our lives through;

God has not promised,

Sun without rain,

Joy without sorrow,

Peace without pain.

But God has promised,

Strength for the day,

Rest for the labor,

Light for the way;

Yes, God has promised,

Grace for the trials,

Help from above,

Unfailing sympathy,

Undying LOVE!

Peace--be still.

Anti-Black Entertainment Television

2005-09-28T07:37:00.000-05:00

I must holla about the BET Comedy Awards last night. I chose to tune in as a result of a desperate need for comic relief. And for the most part, when I was able to get beyond the bleeps, and could uncover my own eyes (and not that of a child who shouldn't be watching), I somewhat enjoyed certain elements of the show. HOWEVER, the majority of it---well, read on.....

If you view my profile, you see that I am totally in favor of freedom of expression. But some things are just totally baffling to me. Can someone please explain to me why our comedic actors and entertainers will stand at the microphone and encourage others to include and support them in movies, television shows, etc., in the midst of profanity and acts of lewdness?

I don't get it! Maybe I'm just crazy. But if the story is that we are held back because of our ethnic make-up and "The Man" won't allow us to grow as respected comedians and actors in the industry, then my thinking would be; maybe it's because "The Man" is watching this awards show that you are acting a fool on right now!

I just won't apologize for my opinion, and I won't even attempt to make excuses for my sisters and brothers. But when I watched Chris Rock, Wanda Sykes, Cheryl Underwood and a few others stand up and thank "our people" for giving them awards, while spewing profanity in every other word; it just doesn't add up. Didn't Chris just host the "thEmmy's" or some awards show recently? (Yes, I am purposely articulating it that way...) I didn't hear all of the explicit language on that show. So why come home and act up?

And what about Shemar Moore's, "I'm so fine that I need to freak every woman that I'm placed on stage with" charade? The brother is definitely a sex symbol by society's standards, but Tyler Perry (who did exhibit a wonderful example of charm and professionalism) could not even accept an award for his movie debut, for Shemar attempting to simulate getting busy on the stage floor with Tichina Arnold!

If you didn't watch it, it's really just more of the typical anti-Black programming that BET presents on a consistent basis, but I'm sure they will run it again, and again, and again for a while. If you choose to tune in, you may feel that this stuff was harmless. But the bottom line is, that even if BET feels that their audience is only made up of people under 25, and the behavioral examples of last night somewhat support that, why not elevate that demographic to a higher level of entertainment? Why don't we stop talking about who's holding us back, and how hard it is to stay on television and be included in movies, and make a conscience choice to improve upon our complete image? I don't feel that we should accept this type of behavior, just because we are among our own people. If you can clean it up for the "thEmmy's", then you can clean it up for yourself, your children and your people. Peace.

It's a Business, Not a Hustle

2005-09-14T15:28:00.000-05:00

I must holla this week about my people in business. My people, my people, my people.......Sigh......Where do I begin? I get so tired of watching other nationalities excel and thrive, while my African-American brothers and sisters continue to struggle. Our struggle is not merely caused by the oppression of "The Man" anymore--it is how detrimental we are to each other and ultimately ourselves.

As an entrepreneur, I won't even attempt to mislead anyone by saying that this has been, or is, an easy road. And most of the difficulties that I've experienced have not been from a lack of knowledge of my industry, lack of experience in working with people, nor issues with racism and sexism. The difficulties stem from some of the types of individuals that I've dealt with, and how they choose to handle their businesses---my people. I know there are those who are shouting in the Amen corner right now, since this is not foreign to most. It is seemingly a never-ending nightmare, that pierces at the heart of everything that I represent, that I endeavor to be and attempt to teach my clients about their businesses.

It always seems to be the same scenario. A dream; instead of a vision. A hustler; as opposed to a professional. A follower; instead of a leader. A conformist, instead of one who upholds positive change. There is not enough time spent perfecting the God-given talents placed within, because there is too much spent on trying to get over on the next brother or sister, or trying to do too many things outside the realm of the professional expertise provided to each individual. Not to mention the "use people's services without compensation" factor. Whoa, let's not even get started on that one!

Without going on and on, my sisters and brothers, we HAVE to do better. We are supposed to be providing generational wealth for our children and leaving a legacy of stability--not debt and fallen talents. As what I feel is the strongest and most powerful culture in the world, we should set the standard for what everyone else is doing. Whatever your passion in business, pursue it with the most integrity and professionalism possible. That's all I have.....Peace.

The Independent Woman

2005-08-01T10:15:00.000-05:00

I want to tackle the theory of being an "Independent Woman" in this day in time, as opposed to the traditional woman--but with a twist. Let me preface my thoughts, by saying that I know God did not create every woman to think the way that I do; neither am I stating that my views are the only way of life or even a preferred way of life. However, I want to merely provoke thought, and as usual, I welcome your opinions in return.

I'm just going to "let it roll off of my tongue, like it tastes bad." I'm really tired of the whole concept of the "independent woman." I know that we as women don't have it like the men, because we have to chosen and accept being chosen; since biblically, we aren't suppose to go out and choose--although some do try to flip the script. But accept with clarity, that I am only speaking to the women who make a conscious choice to take the lead in relationships or choose to be alone because of the "I don't need a man" train of thought. To me, it's not about needing a man, but, well, just check out my point.

I don't want anyone to feel that I am pushing the feminist movement back 200 years, but speaking from personal experience, I wear the labels that society attaches to me, from a basis of "because I have to"--only. Such as: single mother, divorced mother, business owner, head of household, etc. I was told by an acquaintance that these labels are not who I am, but they are part of my journey. Whereas, you may not see any problem; being the individual that I am, I don't "receive" being thought of in these terms, regardless.

I know that I am a minority when I take this stance, but if given the reasonable opportunity, I would prefer whole-heartedly to allow marriage and motherhood take priority over my life. Of course, my spirituality would play a pivotal role in the whole scheme of things, but because of my spirtitual grounding, and my total lack of issues with submission; my decision to come under the authority of a man of God would play the lead into this way of life. I already know that I have some eyes--and necks rolling, but hear me out if you will!

I am not speaking of the let a man take care of me, and I go shop at fashion boutiques and sip lattes at Starbucks and organize play dates for the kids with the rest of the upper echelon mentality! I'm speaking of a partnership that works, because it is covered and ordained by my higher power of choice--God. This means that when the husband sets out the plan for our lives, then that's how it will be--whether it includes me working outside the home, inside the home or both. If I have trusted God, according to His word, to provide a man after His own heart, then there is no question or problem with the standard that the husband sets for our family.

Now let me take it further: No one has the right to abuse authority or love for their own selfish purposes. So when submission is given, it needs to be received with appreciation, consideration and fairness. Submission was never inevitable, as there are plenty of examples in homes today. It is a choice, birthed out of love and respect.

I speak with so many women, who when I tell them my views on the Destiny's Child theory of "I can pay my own bills, don't need a man, blah, blah, blah"--they say they are not built like I am. They would not be able to accept a man managing the money for both of them, and/or the thought of being a stay at home mom would just drive them utterly insane. And of course, they are entitled to their own thoughts and preferences. But are there any ladies left like me? Not the ones who want to wake up late, watch soap operas all day, the house isn't clean when their husbands get home, they're on the phone when he walks in the door, dinner isn't prepared---no, not you. But I am speaking to the ladies who understand that men, especially Black men, go through enough drama during the day, that their home should be their heaven. You shouldn't be talking on the phone when he walks in, because he may need you. If he wants you to run his bath water--then do it, with a smile. Now ladies, get that look off of your face--because, if he was really chosen for you, then you are receiving equal treatment in some manner, so you really won't mind.

But on the flip side of this, are their any men who still appreciate this type of woman? No, not you who just feels that you have hired help--at no cost, barefoot and pregnant syndrome, don't want to make a full commitment--just want some "sugar" on the side, don't make enough money to support the both of you--but won't allow her the freedom to add to the income for a better life, and definitely not the emotional, mental or physical abusers; no--not you either. But the men who live by the good book and are a little "old school." The last boy scouts who will open doors, be romantic (even, excuse me, especially after they're married), be a positive role model for the kids, teach spirituality, communicate effectively, lead and follow the plan for the family.....just be THE MAN! Do they still exist?

Don't get me wrong, I know that in more than cases than not, women are certainly the back bone and leaders of our churches, our businesses, communities and government; and I am by no means asking them to take a back seat to men as a whole. But I see everyday, that another way of life, of which I cherish very deeply, seems to be slipping away--if it's not already gone forever. Nobody blames the woman who has gotta do what she's gotta do, and of course, I understand that completely. But for those women who choose to limit themselves to a way of living, that I feel God did not create us for, I just don't understand. Peace.

The Essence of Time

2005-07-24T17:05:00.000-05:00

The fact that most individuals do not value the time that we are given, is what makes me wanna holla this week. Every day, each individual is provided with the same amount of time. It is what we chose to do with those precious moments gifted to us, that is the problem.

If there were ever an issue that is close to my heart, it is this one. I find myself surrounded by and speaking with individuals on a daily basis, who have no concept of time--or let's just call them, moments. It is truly a shame that so many people die every day without having lived, loved and/or shared their gifts of prosperity and wisdom with others. There are constant opportunities to make valuable use of our moments; but so often individuals choose to live without a plan to give and live and love. The mere fact that those things are options is what pinches, as momma would say, that "last nerve of mine."

Just speaking while standing in my own shoes, I take every God-given moment seriously, and for exactly what it is. Whether it be to say I love you, to someone who may already know it; or merely taking a second to watch the clouds move through the sky. While this may sound like a complete waste to some, at the end of the day--or the end of our lives; what else are to we reflect on?

We could speak of the money that we have been able to attain, the power and influence of our careers, the real estate properties that we own, the knowledge that we have acquired, the individuals that we have conquered--both professionally and personally, and so on and so on. But what about building positive relationships, willingly sharing our prosperity with others--no strings attached, compassion for others and aiding in a positive future for the next generation?

What happened to the testimony, "If I can help somebody as I pass along, then my living shall not be in vain?"

Our moments are not essential components of our lives because we were able to close the sale, make the millions, buy the car/house, or win the game. The ultimate testimony of great moments are the results of the seeds we choose to sew: the child who looks into your eyes with admiration, because you chose to teach him how to fish, instead of merely handing him food; the person who offers eternal gratitude, because you chose to share gifts of knowledge and wisdom; the relationship that flourished into something beautiful and amazing, because you chose to honor it with respect, honesty, integrity and dignity; the world around you that was made a better place, just because you were born.

Terry McMillan scandal

2005-07-18T00:30:00.000-05:00

What Makes Me Wanna Holla.....

This week, what makes me wanna holla, is the Terry McMillan scandal. I don't know how many sistas were watching, (and I say sistas, because I was told by a close friend that supposedly, men would not be watching this interview); but for those of you who missed Tavis Smiley's interview of this sista--all I could say was WOW!

I mean, for the first time ever, and everyone knows how I love Mr. Smiley; the brotha was sitting there unable to get a word in, and at moments, seemingly frightened that the sista may start taking out her woes on him! It was truly a moment in time. I just sat there thinking, now I've been mad before, but I don't know that I ever went there. (Well, maybe in my early twenties--but not enough energy now!)

But one might think, who could blame her? Well, I can--somewhat. I'm thinking, Terry, baby, have you seen this guy? Have you listened to him speak? For the past week or so, Bravo has been showing her famous movie, loosely based upon the evolving of this relationship--How Stella Got her Groove Back. Even looking at Tae Diggs' character (I hoped I spelled his name correctly), I'm thinking, the character he's portraying looks and carries himself in a feminine manner! Now, when the movie was first released, I was with most of the rest of the sista's; sitting there drooling over him like something crazy. But trust, hindsight is a you know what!

I'm not mad at Terry for being upset with this brotha for putting her personal business on blast. But we as women, especially women of color have a serious epidemic going on. Please don't get me wrong, as Terry said, I'm not homophobic. But we have to stop ignoring the signs for love's sake, or because our biological clock is ticking, or whatever it may be. And living near the metro Atlanta area, well, need I say more. I hate no one. But what I do hate is the brothas who don't have the decency to respect us by being honest. As I always say, we can only make good decisions for ourselves through honesty. Then, and only then, can we blame no one for the consequences of our own decisions.

An openly gay male friend of mine said the problem with gay black men, is that they are too busy "perpetrating" straight for the sistas and for "image." But he said that white men are different. They are just who they are--usually.

In an age of dead beat dads, black men in prison, living in an area that is predominately full of the "down low" guys, and those who are just totally committment phobic--and trust me, I know about that all too well--there just aren't a lot of choices for the sister on the right path. And that, my friends, is what makes me wanna holla.....

Hope you let me in next week!